CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE..

A couple of weeks ago, I took a boat ride. Local legend has it that a small island nearby, accessible only by boat, is the place that inspired Jimmy Buffett to write the song named above. I had to find out.

It's called Cabbage Key. If you didn't know exactly where it was, you'd motor right past it. But a couple of friends and I found it on Easter Sunday and it was perfect. The cheeseburger itself wasn't (although it did come with an onion slice).. you could do a lot better almost anywhere for the $7.95..

And let me dispel another myth right now - you won't find Heinz 57 or french fried potatoes anywhere on the island. There's no deep frier on the island at all. The cold draft beer - well - that's another story.

I understand this place gets quite crowded some days... with boats lined up waiting to park. But on Easter - we docked and ate - and sat on the patio that supposedly inspired the song - then went to a nearby deserted beach and hung out. If I could have written a song.. I would have.


A

WAFFLING WITH SYRUP

I want so badly to detest this war. It smacks of fighting for all the wrong reasons. And yet..

Say what you want - Iraqis are better off. Less torture, rape and death. Right there - if war can bring about LESS suffering - maybe you're justified. Still - are we the world's police?

Well - police protect and serve. No doubt the men and women over there are serving.. and doing a brilliant job. Are they protecting us? Personally, I don't see the massive threat that Saddam poses to us - but I would have laughed at the idea of an attack on New York City a couple of years ago. So, yes, they are protecting us. Danger you don't know is still danger.

And there I am - still hating this. Maybe it's simply the notion that the world can be divided into "evildoers" and good guys. History will provide the answers... I'll just keep wondering..

MORONS MAKING NEWS

Since most of the readership of this increasingly humble medium are probably in South Carolina, I will skip right over the "Jack in the Box" guy who shot through the window because he didn't get curly fries.

Today we learned that the same bastion of journalistic ethics who opened Al Capone's (empty) safe and brought us years of "My 10 year old sleeps with elderly farm animals" "voluntarily" left Iraq after "inadvertently" revealing tactical information about US troop movements. Let's pretend for a minute that we haven't noticed that he and his employer have never let a fact stand in the way of their reporting for patriotic Americans.. let's also ignore a "news" organization once again spinning a story they're involved in to suit their needs (the military rarely ASKS anyone to leave a country).. how can you be so full of yourself that you would "inadvertently" put hundreds or thousands of people in danger to make yourself look good? It can't be "serving the public interest" because it doesn't. And it can't be an accident. "Two plus two is five.. oops.. I mean four" is an accident. Delivering a live report that reveals tactical military information is either intentional, or the result of total stupidity or self-absorption. We report.. you decide.

Next - as long as we're talking about total stupidity. From the same "journalist" who brought us "A producer wrote it, I just read it" the last time a network canned him - we now have "I'm sorry.. no I'm not.. I have no reason to be." Apparently, since a live hook-up to Oprah probably wasn't possible from Baghdad - this individual chose Iraqi TV to air his personal opinions about the US War effort. It must be very tough with a war going on around you to divert world attention back to the real story - the reporters. Congratulations, gentlemen. Don't worry though - while you're busy figuring out your next move the rest of us will deal with all the comments about biased media from a (rightly) pissed off public. No problem.

And this just in to the soapbox - a British cemetery in France was vandalised by anti-war "activists". In this cemetery lie the remains of British soldiers who died on French soil saving France. Some of the grafitti implied the British should take back their "rubbish". If only they had never brought it there in the first place.